The Evil OOC Laser!
by Techie Bunny
Summary: Shinra made a laser that makes everyone go OOC! Many Ikebukurians are affected by it. Some for better, others... For worse. Few, aren't affected. Warnings: Incest-like situations, Slight pedophilia, and man on inanimate objects.
1. Prologue

**Shinra's Super Secret Laboratory**

"I have mastered the perfect thing to mae Celty show her love for me in more erotic ways!"

Shinra did a happy dance for his new inention.

He felt on top of the world!

He didn't know he was about to fall and hit the bottom of it so quickly..

"I'll call it my Love Laser!"

**Shinra and Celty's apartment an hour later**

Shinra came running in his house with his new "laser beam" wearing a huge grin.

[what has you so happy? N-Not that there's anything wrong with your happiness, you ust seem more than usual.]

Shinra then pointed the "laser" gun at Celty, and it exploded.

His hard work **exploded**.

A laser beam then shot down from the sky and hit both Shinra and Celty, then the gun evaporated and they both passed out.

**The Next Morning**

Morning came, and it all felt like a dream. Shinra awoke in his bead. He didn't feel like he'd just been hit by a laser, that's for certain. He just felt... Off.

But when does he never? He shrugged it off and made himself breakfast.

**A Few Hours Later**

Shinra saw Celty.. and it felt.. off.. He wasn't as attracted to her.. In fact.. He didn't feel the love at all.

[I had this weird dream you pointed this laser at me and it exploded! Although I don't think that happened.. nothing looks damaged and I feel perfectly fine. Are you okay Shinra?]

He nodded, then left.

'That's odd... He left in his pajamas' Celty just brushed off that thought.

_His Strange behavior would be explained, as later on a lot of 'Iebukurians' will be hit by the same laser. Some taking more effect than others._

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><p><strong>AN:**

I'm not that good a writer, but this came to me while I was washing dishes, so I had to write it! I apologize to anyone I offend while making this entie fic, I apologize for my lack of ability to write fairly good stories. I'm a science/computer/video game nerd.. Not a writer! So I apologize (I'm full of those, eh? apologies, I mean) And this isn't a seious story, so I wouldn't expect much details in this. And I'm a yaoi fan, so expect some OOC gayness for my own enjoyment!


	2. Prologue II: The ending of the beginning

**Raira Academy**

~/~3rd POV~/~

Thunder was heard in the distance, that was expected.

The weather man said to expect storms.

The crazy thing was the random lightning hitting in the middle of the classroom.

That wasn't the most surprising though. When people saw it had hit a student, that's when they were worried.

The lightning had hit Anri Sonahara.

Nevermind the last crazy thing, this new crazy thing is how she just got up like she wasn't just hit by lightning.

"Love. I Love You. Love you. Love. Humans." Anri wouldn't stop spatting nonsense about love. She just kept saying it over and over.

The next crazy thing was a blade appearing in her hand out of thin air.

"I Love You" She was saying it over and over again.

Anri's eyes were glowing red, she was spouting nonsense about loving humans, and she had a blade. A few of the kids had fainted. And Anri proceeded to "Love" them. Love is best shown by Anri with a stabbing motion.

She loved more than 30 people that day before she was shot down.

**In Kasuka's Apartment**

~/~3rd POV~/~

There were dark clouds surrounding Kasuka's Apartment complex. Thunder could be heard in the distance, Lightning was seen near, but only striking nonimportant people.

Kasuka stared out the window. He has a day off from filming, but there isn't much he could do during a storm. Suddenly, Lightning blasted inside and hit him.

Kasuka was passed out for awhile.

**In The Wonderous Pimp Lair of Kida**

~/~3rd POV~/~

Kida was with Saki, when they saw a lot of lightning striking people. It is one interesting sight to see, people getting struck by lightning, then just standing up, or passing out... Not one of them seeming hurt though..

As kida was about to suggest they take cover, he was hit by lightning.

**In the middle of Ikebukuro... Lunchtime?**

~/~Izaya POV~/~

"IIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAA!" That is the last thing one would want to hear when getting lunch! Especially when it's directed towards you.

I'm just lucky Shizu-Chan screams so loudly before hitting, or at least attempting. If he were a ninja, I'd be dead.

"Oi, Shizu-Chan, you shouldn't scream so loudly. I don't think these people like it. You should apologize, and I'll be on my way!" I started skipping away, hoping it worked. It didn't. Not more than 4 seconds later, a trashcan had just barely missed me. PARKOUR TIME!

After i'd say four minutes of avoiding, striking, and avoiding some more, four strikes of lightning came from no where hitting a couple, Shizu-Chan, Simon, and I. Soon as it hit me, I passed out.

**Same time, Same place..**

~/~Shizuo POV~/~

All these people, including I, were just hit by lightning. I am starting to wonder how much stronger I am getting by the day, because I felt nothing. It looked like lightning, and felt like a breeze, seemed that way to everyone else too, then I looked over at Izaya, with intent to kill, and saw him... just passed out.. Laying there.. So I took him to Shinra.

**At Shinra's, 45 minutes later..**

~/~Shizuo POV~/~

So, I took my sweet ass time getting there..

and now, I was just standing there, knocking.

And knocking.

And knocking...

until I kicked down the door, and saw shinra crying in a corner.

**Mind not processing data.**

Shinra..

Crying.

Mr. Happy Weird Ray Of Sunshine... Crying..

"Shinra... Izaya was just hit by somewierd shit and passed out, I'll stick him on your couch."

without waiting for a reply, I left.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I already know it's not that good and I made spelling mistakes last time XD It's fun though, so oh well..

I just wanted to put here.. I like pretending to be Izaya an Shizuo.. but it's not fun being super smart douche Izaya.. it's fun being weird Izaya! (this is my first time writing a story ever, so blahhhh!) I don't even want to ask for reviews, because I dislike heavy criticism! Dx The Orginization is perfect! not me! (Kingdom hearts pun.. lol!... not funny..) well.. I do hope someone besides myself is reading! xD This is for my entertainment only! It's a BONE-US if someone else is reading and likes it..


	3. Chapter 1: Shinra Part 1?

**Shinra's Apartment~**

Shinra had never seen anything more beautiful in his life!

It made him feel like he was flying on a cloud..

His own friend... Izaya.. He never knew he could feel this way towards him..

How could one describe his beauty..?

How could he explain this to Celty?..

He just doesn't feel like he loves her anymore... and that's strange.. He's always loved her.. Hasn't he?. Strange.. He doesn't remember it at all... Who was Celty again?.. All that was in his mind was Izaya, the beauty on his couch.

"Why the hell am I here? Where is Shizu-Chan? Weren't we fighting? I'm not hurt! I feel fine! Am I hurt?" Izaya was now sitting up, and with so many questions... And is that a hint of bitch in his voice?

"Relax Izaya, You apparently passed out, and I'll be here to help you through a slow recovery! You're not well at all" Shinra sat next to him, placing his hand on Izaya's thigh.. "We can get through this together"

"The fuck? I'm leaving." and with that, Izaya left.

**LATER!**

Celty returned home from a job, only to find that Shinra was still acting strange.

[Are you sure you're okay? You seem different]

"I'm fine Celty! No need to worry! Fine fine fine!" He smiled and went to his room.

In that room.. Shinra found out that everything just seemed more and more beautiful.. his laptop, his bed, his bedsheets.. It's all just so tempting. It all is just sitting there, waiting for him to use.. over and over. He has never wanted to use something more than ever, so he left his room.

In the living room, he found his television was absolutely gorgeous, it was seducing him with the remote just sitting there on the table, fully exposed.

"Stop tempting me!" Celty just looked at Shinra, now even more worried.

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><p><strong>So, I believe I need to focus more on my crappy crack fics than I do on sleeping and crappy blogs ._. I think anyone who writes a ShinraxTV scene would be most excellent indeed. Sorry for update lacking. I know where I want to go with this crap, but I have no idea how to get there. Sign for sucking, because the chapter wasn't even worth the wait xD<strong>


	4. Chapter 2: DO GOOD!

**Shinra's Apt. Next day..?**

Celty was out, and Shinra decided not to take any jobs that day. What he did was unthinkable. He felt so wrong, yet right. It was entirely dirty, but so nice. He just has to clean up the mess. Celty would be back any moment, but he had no energy in him left. He WAS the one doing ALL the work after all. How would Shinra Tell Celty about THIS? His new lover. Someone she knew so well. Her own televisual companion.

"You won't tell her, right?" No response. "Why the silent treatment?" No Response again.. "Why won't you speak to me, honey?"

**Later! In Ikebukuro's streets!**

"SHIIIIIIIZUUOOOOO!" Kasuka Heiwajima was skipping around town looking for his older brother. He was slightly unsuccessful in that matter. It had been two hours and he had yet to find him. He checked Shizuo's apartment, then he started looking around. He had no idea where Shizuo could be. He usually just spots him. Now, when he needs him, Shizuo is no where to be found. He dropped off the face of the earth.

"Nii-Saaaaaaaaaaaaaan! I must hug you! Come out from hiding! I just might cry if I don't find you soon." Kasuka started pouting. He wanted to hug his brother and show him his newly found emotions. Yet... He couldn't find him. Life was unfair? Or maybe it was entirely fair and he was being a brat? He may never know which one. So, Kasuka continued his frantic, unsuccessful searching for his beloved brother.

**Back To the Pimp lair... A day earlier!**

Saki stared at Kida's motionless body.

He was just hit with a beam.

A beam of light.

One in which people could only described as a laser beam.

Kida awoke with many questions in his head.

What was the laser beam doing from the sky? How did it get there? Why was it there? Who was the asshole that decided it would be a good idea for laser beams to randomly shoot from the sky? He'd have to check with Izaya for that information. He had a gut feeling Izaya knew all about it. It was time for detective Kida to pimp some man-sluts out to find out the truth!

Wait... What?

Detective?... Man-sluts?...

What was wrong with his head?

**Izaya's Wondrously Marvelous Luxurious Apartment! (After his Shinra experience)**

Izaya had a head ache. Or maybe he was going insane. He couldn't tell.

Sadly, the voices in his head were telling him to be good. That's rare.

'Donate to charityyyyyyyyyy!' Izaya was afraid of this ghastly whisper. It felt like someone was breathing down his neck. 'Save a ' Izaya turned around to see no one was there. It was all in his head. 'Start up a suicide prevention line and ' "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Leave me alone!"

Izaya was scared out of his mind. He didn't want to help people.

'Apologiiiiiiiiiiiiiize to those you huuuuuuuuuuurt' "Ghostly whispers, kindly leave me the hell alone? I need to work now. Scare me some other time?" 'OK..'

**Kanra has entered the chat**

**Kanra: HELLO WORLD AND ALL WHO INHABIT IT!**

**Taro Tanaka: Welcome Kanra!**

**Setton: Hi.**

**Bakyura: GREETING AND SALUTATIONS!**

**Taro Tanaka: You okay Bakyura?**

**Kanra: Someone must have gotten hit by a magic laser.**

**Setton: You heard of that, too? What do you know of it?**

**Bakyura Yes, Tell the detective [me] all you know!**

**Kanra: I don't know much about it. Just saw it yesterday. Everyone's personality went a complete 180 after being hit.**

**Taro Tanaka: I saw it, too. A friend of mine got hit. She's in the hospital now. It scared me.**

**Kanra: I think an acquaintance of mine was hit. He was hitting on me. **

**Setton: My... Friend was hit by it, he's been acting so strange since.**

**Bakyura: I think I should go and investigate this mystery some more!**

**Bakyura has left the chat**

**Taro Tanaka: That was odd.**

So... Kida was hit by it, too. 'Comforrrrrrt the boy..' "SHUT UP ALREADY!"

"I wasn't talking!" Namie looked angry. Maybe he should go and see if he could find who started it and try to make them find a cure, if they weren't already.

_He wasn't. His lover had all his attention at the moment._

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the double upload?.. It's longer than the last. In other words.. Zombies are coming this year! xD Tacos are great. Annnnnd... Next chapter in like... whenever I finish it!<strong>


	5. Chapter 3: And so it begins!

**Shinra's apt. later after His time last chapter!**

"Celty! You're back!" Shinra looked nervous.

[What did you do?]

"I'.. don't touch my television. HELOVESMEMORETHANYOUEVERDID!"

[….What?] Shinra left in a hurry to shower.

Celty was confused. Shinra was entirely guilty, but she didn't know of what. She was going to get to the bottom of this.

**At Shizuo's Apt.**

"Oniichan.. Are you here?" Kasuka looked everywhere, and still no luck. His last hope was to try Shizuo's apartment and wait there.

No waiting was needed. His search was finally over. The door opened.

"Oniichan! I've been looking all over for you!" Kasuka looked around, and saw all Shizuo's furniture was gone, and replaced with a rug. Shizuo was in the middle of the rug, smoking a cigarette.

"Are you okay, oniichan?" Shizuo stood up and hugged Kasuka. As confusing as the random gesture was, Kasuka took it! He's searched all over for this hug, and he was going to have it!

However Shizuo wasn't letting go, and started sobbing 'something's wrong? Is my hug not nice feeling?'

"What's wrong? You can talk to me!"

"I think I'm pregnant!"

**Enter: Vigilante Detective, Izaya's penthouse**

Kida barged in and started screaming at Izaya "TELL ME WHO DID THIS!"

"What?" Izaya was.. baffled to say in the least. He could have sworn he locked that door.

"You know what I'm talking about" Kida looked pissed

"Oh, right... Kida wanted me to tell him who did... This... Whatever this was.. Maybe Kida was jumped.. But he looks okay.. Maybe he was butt-jumped? Ahhahahaha.. That would be funny"

"You realize you said that out loud, right?"

'He's onto us! Cut him!' First voice whispered lightly

'GIVE HIM A SNACK! OFFER HIM SHIT!' Second voice was yelling at him. So sad.

'Kill all the people he knows'

'GIVE HIM A BACKRUB'

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Izaya couldn't help but scream at his inner voices.

"Dude... Does that mean you didn't know you were speaking out loud? Whatever, man.. Just tell me about the sky lasers and shit. I got this case figured out!"

"You must pay a price for the information you seek." Izaya knew all too well what Kida could and couldn't afford, he'd just use that to buy time and make it seem like he knows about this.

"How much?" Izaya gave Kida a paper with simple instructions on it. If he was able to do this, he could have the information. Izaya knew it's take some time, though.

* * *

><p><strong>eh.. This was the original next chapter, and then ff wouldn't let me upload it.. so I wrote more. However when it didn't let me upload, yet again, I decided to break it into two sections making it this chapter and the next. I'll upload it when I get off my bum. Probably within a week.<strong>

Sorry it's short!** I've realized I'm the type that's more comfortable with short chapters. By zee way.. It's not a mpreg. Kay? I just am under the impression that Shizuo doesn't know how a body works... Aside from: get hurt, get better, get stronger.**


	6. Chapter 4: No Comment!

**Back in Shizuo's Apt.**

"Oniichan.. I don't think you know how pregnancies work.." Kasuka was trying not to laugh and face-palm at the same time.

"Kasuka.. You don't understand.." Shizuo hugged him tighter.. "I checked my symptoms online, and it said I either had cancer or was pregnant."

"Boys don't get pregnant.." Kasuka was on the verge of a face-wall. He no longer urged to hug him anymore.. Speaking of hugging... He and Shizuo still were. It felt oddly nice. He found himself blushing. He wanted to feel nice like this more often.

"I don't know how I'll take care of it. I took a test and it said I was pregnant. I'm scared Kasuka. What if I hurt it?" Kasuka had a plan. He and Shizuo were going to prepare for a baby that would never come.

"I'll raise it with you. Do you know who the other parent is?" Shizuo shook his head "Well, from now on it's me."

**Back in Izaya's penthouse!**

Kida left with the special instructions. So Izaya had to search around for the information...

Or at lease he was going to until another guest came into his house.

[I've been thinking. I think I know the cause of the lasers, but I need you to confirm it] So.. Celty explained to Izaya about Shinra's 'love laser' that proceeded to explode. After it exploded, the beams came from the sky.

"So.. I just talk to Shinra and make him make the beams stop.. excellent.. This all went far more easily than I expected.."

**Shinra's apt.**

"Celty's gone, my love..".. But this didn't feel right anymore. The television wasn't as sexy as it was before... but the couch... that couch was a beaut. He couldn't stop looking at it. It was so beautiful.

"Hellllllllllllllllo, my new love." Shinra sat on the couch and stroked it's cushions.

'You're so soft.." he started to lick the cushions of the couch.

* * *

><p><strong>Updated quicker than I anticipated.. Does this mean I'll be loved? xD I'll probably update again a tad later, since the next chapter is complete.<strong>

**Am I the only one who skips author's notes at the end, but reads the ones at the beginning? Probably not. That's why I put these at the end.**


	7. Chapter 5: I'm Sorry!

**Shinra's Apt. Nighttime**

There was knocking at the door. Shinra didn't feel like answering it. He was fixated on his couch. He hardly got any alone time with it when Celty came back. She was finally asleep..

The knocking hadn't stopped though. It seemed more frantic. He had to answer, and behind the door was an angel.

"Hey, Shinra. I know you know about the lasers" Hm.. Shinra couldn't remember anything about lasers. All that was on his mind was this beauty.

"The ones that came from the sky.. I heard from a little birdy you made a laser that exploded. I put two and two together and I'd like to know exactly how this laser was made."

"Hows that concussion Izaya? You need sleep? How about some tea? I'll go make you some tea" Perfect. All Shinra had to do now was drug Izaya.

Izaya couldn't help but notice Shinra was acting strange. Maybe he shouldn't drink the tea.

And what's this about a concussion?

'Damn. My memory sucks lately. That's not good for my job'

'MAYBE WE SHOU-' and then his thought processing stopped. He felt a needle in his neck. The whole room started to spin, and the last thing he saw before his mind went blank was Shinra's smiling face.

**Le Kida Pimp Layer**

'All I have to do is somehow gather 3 pairs of Mikado's underwear and bring them to Izaya. Damn. That'd be hard. How should I go about this ninja mission? Probably while he's at school.. Why am I paying Izaya in underwear anyways? That creep.' Kida had to come up with an epic plan to break into Mikado's apartment, steal underwear, and exit without anyone seeing. He could do it during school hours, but the middle of day would make people get suspicious.. probably call the cops. During night and Mikado would be there. It's pretty much a lose-lose situation. He imagined the night scenario would be awkward if he was caught. The daytime one would be even more so.. Night time it was.

**Shizuo's apartment!**

Kasuka and Shizuo were sleeping on the living room floor, or at least Kasuka was. Shizuo was thinking. Kasuka hadn't bothered to ask where the furniture went, and for that Shizuo was glad. He'd have to stop smoking if he were planning on having the baby. Maybe it's a holy one, since he'd never had sex.. They'll be raising a holy child.. He and his brother. Maybe because the child is holy, Shizuo won't harm it? He couldn't figure it out. It seemed odd, but.. hoe else could he explain his odd cravings, headaches, tiredness, and constantly feeling sick? The internet said he was pregnant.. At least he had Kasuka to help him through it. He loved his brother.. but.. What about Kasuka's job.. He was an actor. He can't abandon that.. Can he? Shizuo's job was in the town, so it's ok. Would Kasuka have to quit? He hoped not.

"You awake oniichan? How are you feeling?" So.. he woke up?..

"I'm good. I need some rest."

* * *

><p><strong>This fic is probably going to become messed up x.x like.. seriously effed up.. I expect to have at least 5 more chapters then it's finished.. so.. Yeah.. it's a tad short, and probably could have been one big one-shot.. but I hate one-shots... If it starts to become... seriously effed.. just let me know! So then I could add some other things in it, to make it even more effed. xD Maybe the next thing I write will be complete shota, set in a mental hospital with lots of rape...shota :D and incest.. Me Gusta.<strong>

**I'm messed up. :(**


	8. Chapter 6: Spleen Babies

**?**

Izaya awoke to complete darkness. He was laying down on something hard and cold. He had tried to get up, but was chained down.

"WHAT THE FUCK? DO I OWE YOU MONEY? LET ME FREE!" Crap. he had to go to the bathroom.

'You should totally wet yourself.' Mean voice was right, he DID have to go.

"Get away from my chains!" And there was Shinra.. There was Shinra.

"WHY ARE YOU CHEATING ON MY WITH HIM, CHAINS?" The hell? The chains are cheating on him?

Shinra unchained Izaya and started cuddling with the chains "Don't ever do that to me again!" He was now crying?

'Eat his spleen.'

'GIVE HIM A HUG'

'don't listen to him. Listen to me'

'WE LIKE CANDY!'

Izaya started tuning them out and just left. He didn't need this. He could just blindly direct Kida to random places.

Now.. To exit this... place...

**Mikado's Apartment**

Kida climbed* in through the window, and Mikado was sleeping.

'Good, let's not make any noise!'

Just as Kida was thinking that, he stepped on Mikado.

"Who's here?"

"Eh... a murderer! Don't look or I'll murderize you!"

"Kida..?"

"Noooo... a murderer... oooooo... i'll murderize you..."

"Kida, you can stop that now.." Mikado stood up. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here for your undies!" Kida said that heroically..

"Why?"

"For Izaya. He wants it as payment for information."

"Oh.. okay.. How much do you need?"

wait.. what..? Mikado was willingly giving them up? Why didn't Kida just go up to him and ask for them in the first place? Would have been so much easier than sneaking in through the window.

**Shizuo's Apartment (Time skip. 2 months later.)**

"Kasuka.. I think I lost the baby.."

"What? Why do you think that?"

"I... don't feel pregnant anymore.." Shizuo looked on the verge of tears "What if I killed it?"

Shizuo and Kasuka had spent the last two months preparing for a baby. They had names, baby items, formula, and a nursery all taken care of. It would be devastating seeing as they already had so much planned for it.

"Shizuo, it must be hard for you."

"Yeah.."

"You can always make a different baby?"

"That's heartless!"

"Adoption, to replace your feelings of this baby with another one."

"You're making it sound horrible"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: The last few chapters or so got creepy, huh? Sorry xD I'm kind of a creeper.**


	9. Chapter 7: The Cure!

**Izaya's Penthouse**

"Izaya! Have you found ANY information yet?" Kida has been doing odd jobs for Izaya for the past 2 months, waiting for him to find information on the strange happenings. Izaya has been adopting animals, donating to charity, and feeding the hungry.

"Must. Do. Good." Izaya always starts twitching when he isn't being good enough. "Kida wants a hug! He wants it, right?"

"No, Izaya. You should really start looking for the information we need."

"LAAT ME JA OMHELZEN!"

"...What? Izaya, seriously. Information." Izaya gave Kida a hug.

"I have to cure cancer now, I'll be back later."

"What? NO! Izaya! You're the only one with enough resources. Please. Don't go." Izaya left again without getting Kida any information or clues to any cure. It was time for Kida to take matters into his own hands.

**Shinra's Apartment**

Celty had returned home from over 2 weeks of not stopping by. She was immediately ambushed by Shinra.

"Hey, Celty.. We don't talk much anymore"

[Things have changed]

"I love you, things have not changed!" Shinra started pouting "You should stop going out so much, take a day and relax with me!"

[A-Are you feeling okay?]

"If this is a new sex craze, it's not working. Neglect is never the answer"

[So.. you're back to normal?]

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I am. That's no excuse for you to leave me, though!"

[How did you fix it?]

"Still stuck on that? That conversation was so 20 seconds ago"

[Tell me, or else]

"I think it has something to do with me choking myself with some chains, or shoving them down my throat. It's the iron, I suppose. I haven't really bothered to think about it much. I was busy wondering where you have been."

[We need to tell others of this cure]

"Why? Things are so much more peaceful. It needs to stay as it is now."

[Everyone is so different. I'm going to find a way to cure it.]

"Does this mean you won't spend time with me?"

**Shizuo's apartment**

It had been three days since Shizuo lost his baby, and he was at first sad he had killed it, then happy he won't be ruining another life, and now he is in shock. Kasuka decided that the only way to fix his brother was to give him a baby, but adopting seemed like it would take too much time, and foster children aren't always what they are expected to be. It was decided, Kasuka was going to steal a baby from the hospital... Or pay get someone to give him their baby. Either choice would be okay to him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: For some reason I think Izaya would know dutch. Oh, and.. I think I'm a fail writer when my main story isn't very well written, and my to-pass-the-time story is better, but not by much. By the way I'm sorry if it seems like it's being rushed. It's not. I'm just trying to find a good way to end it out of it's pain and suffering. (I am ALSO sorry for my username/nickname/whatever change. I change user names as often as i hang out with friends. Once a year.)**


	10. Chapter 8: Next to last!

**Izaya's Penthouse**

Celty had gone to Izaya to tell him about the cure. He had recently cured cancer and AIDS and stopped world hunger, so she thought she could go to him and make him find a cure.

[Izaya, I think I know the cure to this.]

"Really Celty? Do tell! It would be wondrous to hear of it."

[The right amount of iron should cure it.]

"WONDERFUL! I shall get on the cure immediately! It was very nice to hear from you, Celty! Thank you, is that all? Would you like tee?"

Celty thought the new Izaya was plain creepy, but he'll get the job done.

[No. No thanks. I'll see you later, Izaya]

**Le Pimp Lair of Kida**

Kida still hadn't gotten any information out of Izaya, and it's been pissing him off to no end. Izaya has been busy helping out the rest of the world.

"Damn. Izaya still hasn't given me the information I wanted. Saki, any ideas?"

"Just give him time, he'll come through. You could investigate some more."

"Excellent.. But how long do you think he will take? This world is horrible.. Aside from everything being cured, world hunger being stopped, and Izaya and Shizuo no longer fighting and destroying everything.. It is... actually pretty good here.. Why are we looking to cure this anyways?"

"I think it's because this is a different reality that we are not used to, and we strive for it to be what we know."

"When did you get so wise?"

"When I got hit by a laser."

"Explains a lot."

**The Hospital?**

Kasuka had been trying to pay someone for a baby all day. If no one would take money for a baby, he'd just take one. Maybe he'd run into one of his fans and they'd give him one. No. His fans aren't old enough to be having children, and if they are then that's just plain sad.

* * *

><p><strong>One last already written chapter and it's finished! :D Too bad I have no internet xD Anyone notice I used the incorrect homophone of lair a few chapters back? I don't get corrected on that, but write something in a different language and it's all bad xD I'll be back in may.<strong>


	11. Chapter 9: And then there was one

**The Skies of Ikebukuro**

Celty had Izaya buy a helicopter after he found a cure. They decided it would be best to just spray everyone and everything with the mixture. Izaya still hadn't used the cure on himself, he decided it would be best to wait until everyone else had been cured. So, he and Celty started spraying Everyone and everywhere.

**Le Kida Pimp Lair**

Kida was about to uncover the mystery to an unsolvable case when he got sprayed.

"Doctor Jones had been in the area when the murder happened, but claimed to have not seen or heard anything. All the Evidence points..." and then the spray had entered his system. "I don't fucking care. Time to hit on bitches."

**The Hospital**

Kasuka was 10 seconds from taking a baby. He had it in his grasp. He almost is holding it, but now.. He go sprayed. He suddenly lost all interest in taking a baby. In fact, he lost interest in almost everything completely. He no longer could feel. He decided to just get his stuff from his brother's house and go home.

**Shizuo's Place!**

Shizuo was crying in the shower until he had a few sudden realizations. Guys can't get pregnant. Kasuka lied to him. And he felt entirely normal. No more soaring emotions, he felt like himself. He left the shower and decided to smoke a cigarette near the place the couch used to be. Why the hell did he get rid of it anyway?

Kasuka arrived back at Shizuo's place and they had a nice silence that lasted until Kasuka had left for his house.

**The citizens of Ikebukuro were finally back to normal, and they were glad that the weird lasers were gone. Izaya went back to being a complete dick for no reason. Kida went back to being an epic pimp that won't face his challenges. Kasuka is back in acting. Shinra is still a creepy doctor, but his lab was destroyed. Shizuo went back to work. They all thought the iron had destroyed it, but really it just pushed it into another universe.**

**Ashford Academy**

It was an unnaturally cloudy summer day in Area 11/Japan. The students of Ashford Academy weren't enjoying it, it looked like it was about to rain.

'Siblings' Lelouch and Rolo were talking to their friend Suzaku about the rebellions and their opinions on it.

Suddenly what was at first thought of as lightning stuck down by the window outside. Then they saw it was a laser. The laser shot in through the roof and hit Suzaku. What was strange was he seemed unaffected by it.

"Are you okay Suzaku?" Rolo looked terrified, and Lelouch was questioning if that really just happened.

"Lelouch, you've never looked so beautiful to me until now. I think I love you"

"Suzaku.. What's wrong?"

"Nothing at all"

**LE END!**

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><p><strong>I WAS going to rewrite the last chapter and add in more details, but decided against it. At least it's not May? I still have no internet though.. But that's no one's problem here! This story is FINISHED!<strong>


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